This book tells of the author's journey in establishing boundaries in the midst of dysfunction.
In the dark, foreboding woods one, crisp, fall evening, my short life of a mere twelve, years
forever changed. How I wish I’d known BOUNDARIES! How many times had I asked myself why I couldn’t stop him that night, why I acted like I didn’t care, why I froze, why “You’re hurting me!” wasn’t enough, why GOD allowed me to be used and abused?
Truthfully, I could not accept the experience nor my inability to make it different. I blamed myself. I lost all hope. Scarred for life. Damaged beyond repair. I became depressed, tossed to and FRO by others whims. A shell of my former self, so lost, so despondent. Then, I discovered boundaries as I heard the voice of GOD saying, “You must choose!” You must be kidding. I didn’t choose that. Furthermore, I didn’t know or hadn’t heard of a boundary until then. Nope. I had not. The permission to choose was one of many boundaries I would come to learn. Free will was the start.
I wish I could say the time between my assault and my discovery of choice was of short duration. That would be a lie. I spent almost a decade unraveling until I ended up in the psychiatric ward of a local hospital. I died a thousand deaths until I heard GOD speak. I spoke of this evil to no one. And this secret, it ate me alive, bit by bit, from the inside out, until I no longer knew who I was anymore. I no longer knew fantasy from reality. How could I go on?
Michelle Rene' Hammer, MS, LCPC, is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, Board Certified Clinical Supervisor, Certified Pastoral Counselor, BREAKTHROUGH Coach, Author & Motivational Speaker.